Supporting Survivors on Father’s Day
Posted by Becky Watson Lee on 15 June 2026
Over recent years, I have noticed a growing awareness, both within the church and in the wider culture, that Mother’s Day and Father’s Day can be very difficult for lots of people – for those who are grieving parents or children who have died, for those who have difficult relationships with their parents, or for those who long to be parents. Perhaps we haven’t yet considered fully the complex feelings that Father’s Day particularly can raise for female survivors of domestic abuse.
And so, I offer these thoughts as we approach Father’s Day this year, to help you love and support the survivors you know and care for in your church and community.
Give space for grief
It will be important to validate the feelings of the survivors you care for, recognising that God knows and cares about all our emotions, and that the Bible is full of complex characters with complex feelings. Your friends may be grieving the family life they expected. They may feel anger towards their children’s father. They may even feel guilty for taking their children away from their father, even if they know that it was the right thing to keep them all safe. Make sure the survivor knows that you are a safe person with whom they can share these feelings. Listen, don’t judge, tell them that their feelings are valid, offer to pray for them. Be a sounding board so that they can talk through what they need to process.
Listen, don’t judge, tell them that their feelings are valid, offer to pray for them.
Supporting on the day
What practical support might look like on the day will undoubtedly vary depending on the contact arrangements your friend’s children have with their father. So here are a few suggestions in both scenarios:
When there is contact
Check in with your friend to see what the arrangements are that day. Ask them what might help them while their children are with their dad:
- They might like a quiet space to talk and pray with you
- They might like some time on their own (pray for them from afar!)
- They might like to do an activity with you that gives an opportunity for self-care. You could suggest some ideas of things that you know they like.
Be available to support your friend in a way which suits them and their preferences
When there is no contact
God has designed his church to be a family that reflects and shares His love with one another. Indeed the church is one fulfilment of Psalm 68:6 which says, ‘God sets the lonely in families.’ Consider how you can be family for a survivor and her children who are grieving the family life they thought they would have.
- Invite them to join your family and build some fun traditions together
- Encourage your friend to consider the positive parental-figures in her children’s lives – perhaps a grandparent, uncle, aunt or a family friend. Perhaps you are the positive father-figure! How can you show fatherly care for your friend’s children, and point them to their Father God?
Remembering our perfect Father God
It is always important to be gentle and careful when we point people to the truth that God is our Father. It is certainly not as a trite sticking plaster that makes everything better. Learning the truth that God is our Father can come with all sorts of difficulties for people who have been abused by fathers or father figures in our lives. So tread carefully, but have confidence that over time, this truth can become a healing balm for the scars of abuse. Amidst the complex emotions, you can encourage your friend that God is a ‘father to the fatherless’ (Psalm 68:5) – He can fill the gap left by absent or abusive fathers – and more than that, He loves us perfectly, His love surpassing even the best of human fathers. God is a father to us as He is a father to Jesus. He loves us and blesses us as Jesus’ brothers and sisters, with every spiritual blessing (Ephesians 1:3) and promises us the kingdom as co-heirs with Christ (Romans 8:17).
You may like to read and then share this book with your friend. In Finding my Father, Blair Linne reflects on her own experience of growing up without a father in her home, and how knowing God as her Father through the gospel has made a difference in her life.
Being a friend
Whilst Father’s Day presents its particular challenges, how you support the survivors you know will look much the same as any other day. Be a good friend, keep listening, keep believing, keep validating, keep empowering. Perhaps you are part of the way that God lavishes His fatherly love.
How can I support survivors better?
For more information and advice on supporting survivors, please visit our website using the button below. You’ll be able to find information about our training courses which will give you a greater understanding of domestic abuse and how to respond effectively. We would love to see you.
Supporting Survivors