Making a safety plan
You can’t control an abuser’s behaviour, but you can put some plans in place to increase your safety by thinking ahead to the possibility of violence or abuse and planning what you would do in a dangerous situation.
Leaving a relationship with an abuser is the most dangerous time for a victim/survivor, so it’s important not to rush into it.
The idea of making a safety plan might overwhelming or even impossible; abusers are good at making it seem like no help is available or that you’re on your own without them. But, there are people on services on hand to help you and you are capable of taking steps towards safety and freedom. Making a plan doesn’t mean you have to carry it out straight away or at all.
Remember, in an emergency dial 999.
A more in depth planning template is available to download at the bottom of this page, but here are some questions to start thinking about.
Questions to think through
- Is there a pattern to the the abuse or violence that would help you plan to stay safe at particular times?
- Is there a friend or family member you can talk to about what is going on?
- Could you create a code word or phrase that you could send to that friend if you need their help, or for them to call the police for you?
- Are there neighbours you trust? Could you go to them in an emergency?
- Can you ask your neighbour to call the police if they hear shouting at your house?
Some things to do
- Keep your important personal items where you can grab them quickly if you need to escape. Put your purse, phone, keys, driving license etc. in your handbag and keep it near the door.
- Keep important numbers somewhere safe so that you can find them easily; your GP, the domestic abuse helpline (0800 2000 247), the police domestic abuse team, your social worker.
- Teach your children to call 999 in an emergency and help them remember your address and what to say.
- Plan where is a safe place in your house if you suspect your partner is going to be abusive – somewhere with an outside door, but not the kitchen or garage where there might be knives or other potential weapons.
The Safety Plan Checklist
Use our Safety Plan Checklist to help you stay safe.